39. Ted Travelstead @trumpetcake Dress in just a towel around your waistline and you can get into almost anywhere if you simply repeat "so sorry so sorry" and keep relocating forward.
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two. Cohen is a ghost @skullmandible most cutting thing you are able to say is "who's this clown?" because it indicates they're a) a clown & b) not even one among the higher-identified clowns
Which my close friends is why you under no circumstances drink and fly. This really is some quality FB Wall product proper in this article individuals.
lIf you plugged your nose as well as your mouth When you sneezed, wouldn't it come out of the ears or would your head explode?
most reducing point you may say is "who's this clown?" mainly because it indicates they are a) a clown & b) not even considered one of the higher-acknowledged clowns
i could explain to the tweets were sarcastic but i rb’d it cuz I'm sure theres persons around who legitimately believe that type of shit (like, ive observed it a lot)
"I can not wait around to discover which Republican prospect will terrify me into voting for Obama all over again." -Somecards
At 5ft 8in, Daniel Bryan is just not your normal WWE hardman. But nothing about this diminutive, shy guy fits the traditional mould of the big-time wrestler
AXE secretly spending #TSA here brokers to look male travelers for “soiled equipment” and distribute @AXE Discount codes to offenders. #cnn
“u caught me drastically lip syncing/dancing and rather than laughing u joined in v v poorly and we did a fucking duet alongside one another” au
83. Scott Thompson @greenteam15 I want a Woman from the streets along with a lady while in the sheets and a couple of females flanking the east tower. Keep for my sign. We're gonna get that bastard
lMy moms and dads Nearly missing me as a child, However they did not choose me far ample into your woods. Each one has an index of issues and troubles. But I'm #one on everyone's list.
With regards to a platform where you can only use 140 people, the greater sarcastic your tweets are, the better. It Nearly requires a specific form of talent to suit in a very clever, nicely-crafted joke into such a little level of Area.